Monday, March 26, 2007

Bylinksi: "LANG... I AM YOUR FATHER"

In a move that is sure to shock all Kenan-Flagler students, Joe Bylinski recently informed Mark Lang about his true biological history. Bylinski confesses, “That’s why I’m always harping on him class. Because I care so much about him and I’m so proud of him.” Students have recognized the resemblance for years, but Bylinski has previously denied the connection. Even though it's well known Bylinski spread his seed like peanut butter back in the 60's. “Come on, guys. You gotta know I’ve always had a vested interest in Mark. I pulled strings for him at Chicago GSB. I made sure he was placed well at Stanford. And then I convinced the dean to recruit him to Carolina. I wanted to be close to my son,” says Bylinski.

Lang vehemently denies that the two are related, “This is just another one of Joey B’s shticks.” Meanwhile, Bylinski, who claims to have DNA proof of the connection, is optimistic about a family reunion in the very near future, “I’m at a place in my life where I want to be honest with those who matter the most. That reminds me, I've got some important news for John Chapman”.

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