Onyen Classic - Ask A Marketing Interview Candidate:

Fresh Advice from a fellow student

Dear Marketing Interview Candidate:

My roommate and I seemed to get a long great at first, but things have turned sour ever since his girlfriend moved in. Can you help us resolve our differences? – Concerned Co-habitator

Dear Concerned:

The foundation of my career has always been teamwork and creativity. You can see from my resume that I have provided innovative, value-added solutions in a myriad of ways, including one incident where I boosted top-line growth by 30% by introducing rural Filipino villagers to our new line of chilled caffeinated breakfast drinks. I called the campaign “Frappes for Foxy Filipinos.” It was a big hit.

Dear Marketing Interview Candidate:

My mother recently moved in with us, and she is not getting along very well with my oldest son. They seem to be at odds over everything, from how long his hair should be to whom he goes out with. Help! – Mother-In-Law Madness

Dear Mother:

First I would look at the product – is this the type of product that complements the Filipino diet of pork, fish, and rice? Then I would look at price to see how many pesos we can extort from these villagers and still give them enough to survive and give us the next generation of addicts, er, consumers. Then I would look at placement – should we put our product in the refrigerator, next to the infant formula, or should it be placed in coolers by the coconut cash register? Finally, I would look at promotion, and make sure that we provide adequate incentives for these people to leave their thatched huts and head down to the general store for more Foxy Frappe.

Dear Marketing Interview Candidate:

I am going to a wedding shower, but all the everyday shower items on the bride’s registry have already been purchased. Would it be appropriate for me to purchase fine china as a shower gift? – Stumped for the Shower

Dear Stumped:

I want to work for McNeil because they are leaders in their field and have pioneered the field of anti-diarrheal marketing. I have never seen a better add campaign than that series of Immodium commercials where people talk about their personal bowel problems with perfect strangers. I can really relate to it because I tell people about my bowel problems all the time. McNeil offers a great working environment, fantastic benefits, and please, oh PLEASE for the LOVE of GOD please please please give me a job I am so desparate I’m BEGGING you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for you time and attention.