Serageldin Seeks Reelection, Will Not ‘Go Quietly Into the Night’

Former MBASA President Ramy Serageldin (pronounced Serageldin) has requested a recount in the recent election that placed John Chapman as his successor. Citing ‘unfairness’ in MBASA’s unwillingness to allow a two-term President, Serageldin has called into question the fact that 1st years were not at least given the opportunity to vote for him. “I’ve spent a full year trying to lay a solid foundation with these 1st years to make a 2nd term possible. I mean, you’ve seen me out there. When I work a room of 1st years, it’s a thing of beauty … Ali didn’t float around prettier than I do around these young chumps.” Serageldin continued, “I’m virile, established and you all know that they want me back in the driver’s seat.”

MBA Program Director, Michael Stepanek, requested that Serageldin ‘move on’ and ‘just get a job like the other 1/3 of his classmates’ who have found gainful employment. Speaking with some of Serageldin’s classmates revealed the following, “Ramy has really gotten drunk on power this past year. It would be frighteningly disgusting if it weren’t so sad.” Others indicated, “I think this latest rampage is primarily being fueled by late night Jaeger Bombs.” Serageldin countered, “These people are under the impression that employment in a city hundred of miles outside of Chapel Hill will keep me out of office next year. What foolish, foolish souls. They don’t know what lengths I will go to get back to playing video games 80% of my day and pointing out attractive undergrads to my friends the rest of the day.”